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poster.jpg (5677 bytes)Mike's Rating and Review: 
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Directed by: Demian Lichtenstein
Cast: Kurt Russell, Kevin Costner, Courtney Cox, Christian Slater, Kevin Pollak and David Arquette
USA, 2001, 125 minutes

     I cannot believe this actually came out in the theaters! What an embarrassment to the film industry! This film is so bad that in the future people will use it as a basis to judge other bad movies on.

     The film starts out its story with two scorpions fighting somewhere. The CGI on the scorpions is so pathetic in today’s standards that it makes Tron look cutting edge. These supposed scorpions (who look strangely like robots) have no real purpose in the film other then to fight each other and eat up 3 minutes so the credits can continue to roll. After these scorpions finish their fight we find out that some guy is in some clan of phony Elvis impersonators that decide to rob the Riviera Casino in Las Vegas. The robbery itself happens in the first 20 minutes of this film and it just goes downhill from there. The robbery was really the only entertaining aspect of this film because there are some cool shooting scenes. So once that’s over and done with a couple of people are shot in the group until only 2 of them are left. The two guys (Kevin Costner and Kurt Douglas) fight over the money from the job they pulled. Eventually in the end Douglas wins and gets away with the money and some woman and her son he picked up along his stupid pointless adventure. I guess we are supposed to feel good for him but considering how he is a criminal that should be in jail for armed robbery and murder I have no remorse and neither should anyone else.

     So why did this movie deserve a 1 star rating? Well, maybe some of these "important" scenes from the movie will convince you of this rating: We get to see a gas station blow up for no apparent reason other then it looking cool; David Arquette makes an ass out of himself by thinking he is funny (which he is not); a police officer who pulls over Kevin Costner decides he would rather have a shoot out duel with him then write a ticket; we get to hear lines like "Why do they call it a headbutt anyway? It’s not like I rammed my head into the guy’s ass," and my personal least favorite scene which I mentioned earlier - two scorpions fighting for no reason at all. Now since I told you all the bad stuff about the film you are probably wondering why the hell it even got 1 star. Well, the best scenes in the movie are when David Arquette and Christian Slater are shot, now that’s what I call entertainment!

© Mike Wood 2002